Reflections:

Episode #4.02

"New Year, New Fears"

Written by E. Ty Junior

Previously...

• Liz received a mysterious call from her brother, Ty, stating that she needed to come back home to Boston. Liz said she would be on the next plane and wondered what the urgency back home could be.
  
• After speaking with both Shane and Lucas, Jason realized that the time had come to tell his parents that he was HIV Positive. Still reluctant due to his fears of their reaction, he knew what he had to do. Meanwhile, Lucas and Shane seemed to both bid for Jason's affection, although Jason seemed to view Lucas more as a friend and Shane more on a romantic level.
• Emily Landon bid her farewell to Pac Heights and went on her own personal journey to find her niece, Kayla. During her absence and Steve's recovery in the hospital, she made the decision to appoint her closest friend, Felicia Bordeaux, in charge of all operations at Landon Points.
  
  For a printable version of this episode, click here.
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  Scene: Starbucks   

To the average outsider, Shane and Jason (pictured, left) were the epitomy of two giggling little school girls as Shane pulls open the door to the cozy little Starbucks franchise, allowing Jason to see himself inside from the winter cool. It was not every day that their support counselor was late, and it was certainly not every day they got to see him nearly fall flat on his face. It really was childish of them to still be laughing about it an hour later, but when hit with the reality of your mortality on a day-to-day basis, you start to derive amusement wherever you can.

As the giggles subside, the two men notice that the toasty cafe isn't all that busy today. A lone stranger sits reading a magazine in the center of the cafe, while a group of older patrons sit off to one corner. For Jason, this means he and Shane have clear shots at the window seats. Not that the seclusion is necessary. After all, they were just two supportive friends out for drinks.

"Welcome back. What can I get you gentleman?" The middle-age clerk asks as Shane and Jason step up to his counter.

Jason instructs the clerk that he will have a grande size vanilla bean coffee, and Shane quickly chimes in for him to make it double.

"Will that be with or without cream? And do you want sugar with that?" The clerk ends with the required customer seal of appreciation smile.

In unison, "No sugar, light on the cream."

It isn't like they haven't requested to have their coffee made the same way before, but somehow hearing it simultaneously really brought home how insync Jason felt with his new friend. It might even explain the goofy grin he wears after the clerk turns away to prepare their drinks. Shane moves a few inches from the vacant checkout line in a slightly circular motion, fidgeting briefly with his wallet before catching Jason's gaze again. The grinding of the coffee beans is heard while Shane attempts to pass time.

"So, how was your new years?"

"Well, I came close to telling my mom about my status, but then the clock struck midnight, and I choked. Imagine that, right?" Jason does not expect him to answer. After all, he, himself, has lost track of the number of times he's come close to telling his family. It's like his life has become one big game of russian roulette, the odds clearly not in his favor.

As he drops his eyes shamefully to the polished floor, Shane extends a comforting hand over Jason's shoulder. The intimate contact and the sound of Shane's voice draw his eyes upward.

"Don't beat yourself up, okay? You just weren't ready yet, but you will be." Shane defends before the clerk calls out to them.

And it is no surprise when they realize the presumptuous clerk has billed them jointly again. Jason shakes his head with a slight chuckle before handing the clerk a $10 bill. After the clerk hands him his change, the duo grab their usual window seat.

"The thing is this is a new year, I should be looking forward. Instead, I feel like this is forcing me to look back." Jason explains, shifting his right arm over a little bit when it leans into close to his coffee cup. Shane had a feeling there was more to be said, so he simply he looked on. "My sister was pregnant one minute and the next, the baby was gone. No warning, no time table, just gone. If there is--"

"Don't even think like that." Shane jumps into say, not wanting to hear his friend talk death and dying when everything was going his way. "Didn't the doctors say your latest results were good?" Jason nods his head. "And if you need any further proof that this thing isn't a death sentence, just look at me."

Jason didn't need permission to look at Shane. He was always looking at him, surveying him. How this man manages to stay so upbeat knowing he has to live his life under a different rule of thumb? Of course, he realizes he should probably stop staring now, distracting himself by taking a swig of his coffee. The warming sensation of the liquid coursing down his throat and through his blood stream allows him to sort out his thoughts.

"I know you're right, but one thought prevailed for me as I sat with my mouth slightly agape on New Years... I can't keep doing this limbo for another year. I need to take control of my life and that starts with telling the people I love that I'm positive."

Shane smiled, grabbing a questioning gaze from Jason. "What?"

"I'm just pleasantly thrilled. You've come a long way." Shane explains, taking a swig of his coffee. Jason feels a greater since of pride of himself now than he did before. He knows it's not going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination, but admission is the first part of the healing process. It is what comes as a direct result of his admission that fears him the most.

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Scene: Outside the Bryant Residence, Boston. 

As Liz parks her car on the curb outside her family home, she and As Ty both re-acquaint themselves with the extravagant Queen Anne Style house that stands 3-stories tall. Predominately white on the exterior with touches of green on the roof and red around the large bay windows and front door, the Bryant home is old renaissance culture at its best. A huge elm tree stands nearly as tall as the house, its leaves and branches extending itself over the rightmost side of the house, providing a nice source of shade from the sun on those unbearable summer days. The temperature today, however, is nice and cool today as the Bryant siblings make their way up the intimate set of steps that land them right in front of the main entrance.

The very porch which they stands encircles the whole house, conjuring up many images of hide and seek, tag, and 3-round races in Liz's head. She can even hear the sound of her mother's voice calling them inside, especially on those autumn days, when it got darker a few hours earlier. Ty, on the other hand, only wishes his memories were eons ago, only having moved away from home and Boston two years ago.

"It hasn't changed," Liz finally speaks, leaning over the the first set of rails at the left side of the house.

Ty quietly agrees with her. Truth be told, he didn't think he would ever return to this place again.

"Horrible!" He knows, but surviving a tragedy that leaves another dead does to that to a person. He thought time would heal those wounds, but he can still feel her presence here in a way that burns, not comforts. He can hear distressed calls for help. He can taste the salty water again, a taste one never forgets as he leans over the railing, the taste so palpable that he spits onto the grass below.

He's not sure if that dissipates the taste, but when a loud, organ-music like sound obnoxiously buzzes at Liz's urging, Ty realizes his sister has ringed the door bell.

"That hasn't changed."

"I'm surprise it still works." Ty laughs as the door knob slowly begins to turn. Seconds later, their father, Don, appears in the door way.

Greeting them by their given birth names, "Elizabeth. Tyler."

"Hi Dad." Liz rejoices as she rushes into her father's arms, taking note of his cane only once she pulls back. "How are you?"

Knowing his dutiful daughter all too well, "I am fine. Just something to help me stabilize my footing... Please come in, you two."

Once Liz makes her way through the door, her brother shares a brief, slightly awkward hug with their father. The Bryant men usually left the hugs and kisses to their female counterparts, settling for a simple handshake when the time calls. But given recent events, it seems inconsequential. "It's good to see you, son." Don smiles before closing and locking the door.

Inside, the Bryant home has hardly changed since the two siblings were last there. The walk way from the door to the adjoining living room and kitchen further down is still adorn with photos of the Bryant clan from Liz and Ty to their grand parents and great grand parents. It's a house of continuing history. They make their left at the first opening into the living room, which is cozily set up with a full-course entertainment center with a plasma TV, an archaic record player and juke box, and several shelvings of plaques and trophies. There are two lofty couches adjacent to one another in the center of the room, and a private small office desktop equipped with PC and printer in the rightmost back corner. At the opposite end, along the wall facing in, is a mini-bar and refreshment table, where Don makes his way over to, putting aside a few cups.

"Would you two like something to drink?"

Ty and Liz try to refuse, but when he makes the request again, they feel compel to say yes. It was the house, and the drink of choice that Don finds himself pouring with such familiarity into the medium-size glasses he set aside. He always insisted his children have a morning dose of OJ before rushing off for the school bus. Of course, now it didn't seem it had to be morning as Ty and Liz accepted their glasses, Don taking the last one for himself. He then takes a seat on the couch adjacent to the one his children have made themselves comfortable on.

"So how have you two been?"

Taking a sip of his orange juice, "Things are good. I start a new position soon at Royal Palms High School in Pac Heights, so me and sis will be pretty close."

"That's great news. You two really should be close by to keep an eye on one another."

Liz quickly jumps in, "Don't think that's going to get you off the hook."

"Oh, I know I never am with my darling daughter, but tell me, how have you been?" He smoothly works the conversation like the expert lawyer he groomed his daughter to become.

"Things are little slow career wise, and personally, things have been at sort of crossroads."

Donald face warms, "Your mother's life was much the same before she and I met."

"I miss her." Liz recalls the many talks she and her mother use to have about finding the right man, and knowing when to hold on tight, or unfortunately, when to let go. She wonders what her mother would think about her situation with Rick-- a married man, if only in name only.

"So do I. This house just never quite felt the same."

Liz drops her glass on the coaster on the glass table in front of her before moving over to her father's adjacent couch. "Well, we're here daddy. Whenever you need us."

He kisses her hand delicately, "Thanks honey, but Boston is hardly a pit stop from California. You and Tyler have your own lives to live."

"Own lives? Dad, you're a part of that." Liz is unable to mask her emotional outrage. The thought that she could live her life, ignoring his existence because of mere distance and frequent flyer miles was laughable. She hastens to add, given the circumstances that brought her here in the first place, "I refuse to be the kind of daughter that visits you after every health crisis or odd holiday. We're a family and we're here to stay."

"Liz is right. Our hearts are where you are." Ty reinforces, joining Liz at this father's side. His father simply smiles before embracing them both in a group hug.

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